Have you ever reached a certain age and looked around at your life and thought, “Is this really what I thought I’d be doing by now?” Maybe your career didn’t turn out exactly as planned, your kids are growing up, your priorities have shifted, or you simply woke up one morning and realized you’ve spent years taking care of everyone else. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And maybe what you’re feeling isn’t a midlife crisis at all. Maybe it’s a little voice reminding you that there is still a whole lot of life left to explore.
Let’s Dig In.
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The Mysterious Midlife Happiness Dip
There’s an interesting idea in happiness research that has gotten quite a bit of attention: happiness and well-being can follow a broad U-shaped pattern over the course of adulthood. In other words, many people experience a dip somewhere around midlife before things begin to improve again later.
That doesn’t mean everyone wakes up on their 47th birthday wondering where their happiness went. Life, thankfully, isn’t quite that organized.
Researchers have looked at well-being across countries and found patterns suggesting that midlife can be a particularly challenging period. Work responsibilities, family obligations, financial pressures, changing priorities, and the realization that time doesn’t stretch quite as endlessly as it once seemed can all play a role.
Want to dig deeper into the research? Read the NBER research paper, “Unhappiness and Age.”
Note: The research looks at broad patterns in well-being across populations, so it doesn’t mean everyone experiences a happiness low point at exactly the same age.
When Your Life Doesn’t Look Like the Plan
When we’re younger, it’s easy to imagine that life will unfold in a neat little sequence.
Graduate. Get the career. Buy the house. Build the family. Reach the next rung on the career ladder.
Then somewhere around midlife, you may realize that the plan has changed.
Maybe the career you worked so hard for isn’t as fulfilling as you expected.
Maybe the dream job never happened.
Maybe your children are becoming independent, and the house suddenly feels much quieter.
Or you had no children.
Maybe you’re caring for aging parents while still trying to keep up with everything else.
Or maybe nothing is particularly wrong. You’re just ready for something different.
That last one is important.
You don’t have to be unhappy with your life to want more from it.
You can appreciate everything you’ve built and still wonder what else is waiting around the corner.
Remember All Those Things You Said You’d Do Someday?
This is where I think bite-sized adventures really shine.
Maybe you can’t take three weeks off for an international trip. But can you take a Saturday and explore a nearby town? Could you plan a two-night getaway? Could you take yourself to lunch somewhere new and spend the afternoon wandering around?
Absolutely.
And if you’re ready to start planning a bigger road trip, my guide to The Best Road Trip Planner Apps to Map Your Next Adventure can help you turn that “we should really go there someday” idea into an actual route.
Because there is a surprisingly large difference between “I’d love to visit that place” and “I’ve mapped the route and booked the hotel.”
The second one tends to involve considerably more adventures.
Travel Gives You Permission to Be Curious Again
One of the things I love most about travel is how quickly it can pull you out of autopilot.
At home, we know where we’re going.
We know which grocery store has the best prices..
We know which route takes seven minutes longer but avoids traffic.
We know where the coffee is.
Travel changes all of that.
Suddenly you’re paying attention.
You notice architecture.
You notice how people greet each other.
You wonder what that smell coming from the bakery is.
You see a little shop and want to know what’s inside.
You try something you’ve never eaten before.
You might even get gloriously lost.
Okay, perhaps gloriously depends on whether your phone has a signal.
But that’s part of the fun.
Travel reminds us that we don’t have to know everything. We can simply be curious.
Solo Travel Can Be Especially Liberating
Midlife can also be a wonderful time to explore solo.
For some women, traveling alone sounds intimidating at first. What if something goes wrong? What if I get lonely? What if I look awkward eating dinner by myself?
Here’s the secret: most people are far less interested in you than you think they are.
That solo dinner you’re worried everyone will notice? The couple at the next table is probably busy deciding whether to order dessert.
And the confidence that comes from successfully navigating a new place on your own can spill into other areas of your life.
If you’re considering your first solo adventure, my guide Traveling Alone: How to Build Confidence and Enjoy Solo Adventures is a great place to start.
You don’t have to begin with a weeklong international trip. Start small. Take yourself somewhere familiar but different. Spend a day exploring a nearby town. Then build from there.
Of Course, Our Bodies Have Opinions Now
Let’s talk about the elephant in the suitcase.
Getting older can be wonderful, but our bodies occasionally like to remind us that we’re not 25 anymore.
Travel can make that particularly obvious.
Long flights.
Jet lag.
Too much walking.
Not enough sleep.
Trying to remember where you put your glasses when they’re sitting on top of your head.
And for many women, perimenopause and menopause can add another layer to the experience.
Sleep can become unpredictable. Temperature suddenly becomes a personal negotiation. Your body may decide that 2:17 a.m. is an excellent time to wake you up for a trip to the bathroom.
Travel may require a little more planning than it once did.
Build in rest.
Drink water.
Wear comfortable shoes.
Don’t schedule every minute.
And permit yourself to slow down.
You don’t win a prize for seeing 14 attractions before lunch, and your body will thank you that you didn’t
You Don’t Need a Huge Adventure
One of the biggest misconceptions about travel is that it has to be impressive.
It doesn’t.
A great adventure might be a day trip to a town you’ve never visited. It might be trying a new restaurant, visiting a museum, taking a scenic drive, or finding a hiking trail you’ve never explored.
And if spontaneity sounds appealing but you’re not quite ready to completely wing it, I’ve written about How I Plan Spontaneous Trips (Yes, Really).
Because there’s a difference between being spontaneous and being completely unprepared.
I like knowing where I’m sleeping and having a general idea of where I’m going. After that, I leave room for the unexpected.
That’s where some of the best travel memories tend to happen.
Don’t Let Money Be the Reason You Never Go
Another common midlife travel obstacle is money.
Travel can certainly be expensive, but that doesn’t mean every adventure has to be.
Saving a little at a time, traveling during shoulder seasons, choosing nearby destinations, and planning shorter trips can make a difference.
If travel is something you’ve been putting off because you’re waiting until you have “enough money,” my post Saving for Travel: Tips to Make Your Adventures Happen can help you start turning that dream into a realistic goal.
You don’t have to fund your entire travel bucket list this month.
Start with one adventure.
Then another.
Before you know it, those small trips can add up to a pretty wonderful collection of memories.
Maybe It’s Not a Midlife Crisis After All
We joke about the midlife crisis.
The sports car.
The dramatic career change.
The sudden desire to take up an activity that requires expensive equipment and questionable amounts of Lycra.
But perhaps there’s another way to look at this stage of life.
Maybe the desire for change isn’t about running away from your life.
Maybe it’s about moving toward the life you actually want.
Toward curiosity.
Toward experiences.
Toward learning.
Toward creativity.
Toward travel.
Toward finally doing some of the things you’ve been putting off.
You don’t have to become a different person.
You may simply need to make more room for the person you’ve always been.
Your Best Adventures May Still Be Ahead
Getting older doesn’t mean your adventures are behind you.
In many ways, it can mean the opposite.
You know yourself better.
You know what you enjoy.
You know what isn’t worth your time.
You’re hopefully a little less concerned about impressing people and a little more interested in enjoying your life.
That’s a pretty good place to begin.
You don’t have to be wealthy, famous, or extraordinarily successful to have an extraordinary life.
You can explore a new town.
Eat something you’ve never tried.
Strike up a conversation with someone interesting.
Learn something simply because you’re curious.
Take yourself somewhere beautiful.
Laugh until your stomach hurts.
Watch the sunrise.
Get a little lost.
And come home already wondering where you’ll go next.
Maybe the upward side of the happiness curve isn’t about finally having everything figured out.
Maybe it’s about realizing you don’t need to.
There is still so much to see.
So much to taste.
So much to learn.
So many roads to wander.
And so many bite-sized adventures waiting for you.
Let’s Dig In!
If you’re somewhere in the middle of life wondering whether you’ve missed your chance to travel, explore, or try something new, let me give you a little reminder:
You haven’t.
You don’t have to wait for retirement.
You don’t have to wait for your children to grow up.
You don’t have to wait for a travel companion.
And you definitely don’t have to wait until everything in your life is perfectly organized—because let’s be honest, when has that ever happened?
Start small.
Take the day trip.
Visit the town.
Try the food.
Book the weekend.
Take yourself somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.
Your adventure doesn’t have to change your entire life.
It just needs to make you feel a little more alive, curious, and connected to the world around you.
Because maybe midlife isn’t the beginning of the end.
Maybe it’s the beginning of finally realizing that your life belongs to you, too.
And that’s a pretty good reason to pack a bag.
Stay curious, stay hungry, and keep exploring!
